Did y'all know that Orlando Bloom is my longtime boyfriend? You can imagine, then, why this report (and this one too) has made me seriously unhappy. Indeed, how can I be happy if the love of my love is cheating on me with a Victoria's Secret supermodel?
Ahhh, this is horrible, HORRIBLE!
When I first read about this agonizingly awful engagement I moooaned and said to my sister in a small voice, "Jessica? ... ... ... ORLANDO BLOOM IS ENGAAAAAAGED!" And promptly commenced weeping. Well, not really. But I certainly felt like it. How could he do this to me?